Introduction

Open with Libation - asked to remember/think of an ancestor who models great parenting

Outline for WEEK 1
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The Principles of Maat as a context for our study:

• Defining Maat – Striving to move from principles to practice

• Declarations of Innocence – Aspirations for Eternity

• Nguzo Saba – A Social Contract for Africans

• Key Husia Passages – Finding and using the wisdom teachings of our ancestors as we study, Strength for Their Journey. Standing Assignment: Find a relevant Husia passage for each session of the class based on the assigned readings.


Key Question: “What would you list as the most critical skills and attributes a young African American needs to succeed, both socially and personally?”

SHARING CLASS EXPECTATIONS
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• Supporting blended families
• How others were raised, especially those in the Bay Area
• Appreciate other parenting styles
• Looking for tools for particularly situations based on who we are
• How to be a better mother to own children, as well as in the community
  
• Learning to respond to adulting children, especially having not raised them since their early years
• Develop understanding of different styles/needs to better serve families in this community
• How to communicate with children better (didn't have a model)
  
• More tools, and to learn why we raise the children the way we do
• Looking for ways to raise a male child, and how to sift through our techniques (ancient wisdom vs. enslaved patterns)
• Want to share knowledge as a childcare worker and incorporating community values

• Wo'se community want to ensure that every child receives good parenting
• Often parents are asking teachers to be parents
• Using the textbook, "Strength for Their Journey" (by Robert Johnson & Paulette Stanford); a book based on identifying fundamental values and practices
• What are the underlying values that we want our children to have
• In the South, everyone always judged you based on your parents
• People generally had a very strong work ethic, and a lot of that is gone

Participant Expectations
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• Want to ensure that everyone reads the material and preparse for the class
• Be prompt - want to begin each session at 7 pm
• Be respectful of the views of other participants
• Watch your "airtime" - don't dominate the conversation
• Journal your notes and observations - keep a record of the conversation
• Work to internalize new ideas that are relevant to you and your family and share them with others - be willing to question your own parenting styles, and be open to trying new strategies

DISCUSSION TOPICS
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• Authors of the book challenge parents to have at least one meal a day together
• Discuss the challenges of meeting this challenge
• Spoke to the development of manners and sharing, especially with having relatives coming to share a meal
  
• Watching children eating at school it is clear that many children don't receive training as to how to eat at a table
• Benefit from hearing adults sharing conversation which influenced how you view community life
• There is an expectations that everyone had to be there; and even if you couldn't be there, there was a plate waiting for you
  

ESSENTIAL DISCIPLINES
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• Essential disciplines include: traditional, racial, emotional, practical, and spirit-mind-body
• Children should understand that parents will protect them, and define the boundaries
• View the "Ten Racial Stereotypes That Won't Go Away", such as (1) Blacks blame all their problems on racial prejudice, (2) Blacks expect special consideration and treatment, (3) Blacks don't take full advantage of educational and economic opportunities ...
• Having to deconstruct racial situations for children, and teaching them how to negotiate those situations without compromising who you are
• Emotional; strength to resist negative peer pressure and temptation, such as the notion that being smart is "acting white"

• Maat is the underpinning for our class; where Maat is a Kemetic (ancient Egyptian) philosophy that is based on fairness and being in balance; will also utilize the Nguzo Saba
  
• Encouraging everyone to obtain a Husia, and use it to reference in our conversations
  

KEY QUESTION:
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"What would you list as the most critical skills and attributes a young African American needs to succeed, both in society and as a person?"

• Divided into groups to discuss the question
• Delayed gratification - value of work, patience, and diligence; being able to look over the hill to imagine other possibilities (sense of hopefulness)
  
• Self-discipline, strong work ethics, critical and independent thinker, open to positive versatility, be solution oriented, strong strength of mind; "What helps children become critical thinkers?"
• Having a strong sense of who they are, and being proud of who they are; shared the experience of self-oppression (being negative about color of eyes or skin color), respect for others
• Controlling one's emotion, self-discipline, financial savy, having a good sense of our history and having an awareness of our past accomplishments
• Knowing its OK to be different - stay focused on what you want
• Understanding the validity of your actions - often people respond to the first emotion they have; sense of appropriateness - what works in a particular situation
  
• Need a set of values or virtues, such as the Ten Virtues
  
• Virtues were learned as home training, and translated from parent to child
• Strong communication skills; willing to be emotionally vulnerable
• Feels an underlying skill - is being able to love and be loved

Building the Towers of Self-Love in Black Children (p. 5)

• Love is the foundation for many of the principles
• Authors say the most important attributes are self-esteem and resilience
• Self-esteen means they know they are valuable and deserve love and respect
• Resilience means being able to rebound from setbacks and handle different types of adversity
• Discussed strategies for building resilience; spoke to assisting and finding ways to help children with their struggles
• Important for parents to set positive examples
• Be mindful of passing on your limitations to your children, which will stifle their potential
• Don't want to have a parenting style that focuses on negative things
• Don't push children toward your preferences or strengths
• Remember that every child has unique talents and a unique personality
• Don't expect children to succeed without our help; help them to stick at something to determine how good they are at an activity
  
• Don't discourage children who aren't the greatest at their chosen activities
• Give children responsibilities
• Help children become effective decision makers

Closed by reviewing, "Ten Way to Help Black Children Feel Good About Themselves" (p. 16)


NEXT WEEK
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1. Read the Introduction
2. Read Chapter 1 and 2 (we skimmed chapter one) - Chaper 2 is "Traditional Discipline: Setting Behavioral Limits"